I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
