how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
