we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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