she was so not down for the gang bang
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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