Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
