you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
