you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
bring money and cleavage
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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