he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
