I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
