My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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