Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize