Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
