..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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