if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
