you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
