Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize