Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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