Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
