still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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