it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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