i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
