Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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