Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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