he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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