K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize