come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
