I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
