I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize