Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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