I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
