So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is classic penis vs brain.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
