Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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