I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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