We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
