You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
