Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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