Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
