do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
