I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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