pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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