I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
