Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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