so that wasnt chicken after all
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
