Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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