you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
