I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
now i know why i became what i already was.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
