it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
