I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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