I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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