suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
