I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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