a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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