why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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