walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
