there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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