He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
