i jhust puked up my retainher.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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