Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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