hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
