i will never coherently bang her
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
