I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
