Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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